Why Is A Food Challenge Rarely About Food?

I just finished dinner about an hour ago, and I realized that I yet again, I was having a craving for something sweet. I never intended this challenge to be anything more than taking care of my body by eating better. But what it's turned into is another story altogether.  

I find myself struggling with anger, tension and stress – all for the wrong reasons. I'm obsessing, as I often do, with ‘getting it right.’  Getting what right? Eating just like the plan prescribes.  Ugh, why do I put myself through this time and again?  Just because it’s on a list doesn't mean I have to follow it exactly. I am smart enough to figure out a sensible substitute if I'm out of something or if I feel the need to go out of my way to find something. That is not the point of this challenge.  The point of this challenge is to do something good for your body.  How exactly am I being good to my body if I’m obsessed or stressed about this or that and how to do it right?

I don't want to beat myself up too much – such is the point of this post after all! But I do want to listen to what my body and mind are telling me and just follow the plan as best I can. Nothing more, nothing less.  I've noticed more often than not that it’s much ‘easier’ for me to make a big deal and obsess and whine about whatever positive change I’m trying to make in my life.  Allowing thoughts like, “it’s too hard”, “ I'll just have a little” and “that’s what it says I need, so I must go out and find it”…etc., ad nauseum.  This is the struggle – my thought life.

How is your thought life a struggle you say? Every action I take or don't take BEGINS in my thoughts, even with – or especially with – food.  How I feel when I wake up in the morning, how I greet my family, how I treat my co-workers, how detailed I am and especially how I feel about myself.  Even though I've not “officially” struggled with being overweight – I do think I've struggled with my ‘food life’ my entire life. From being told to ‘finish my plate’ when I wasn't allowed to portion out my food to family celebrations centered around food, to telling myself I ‘deserve’ a treat after overcoming this or that struggle.

So, what does that mean for the rest of this challenge? Who knows? But I'd like to learn to slow down and take things as they come…oh, and exchange asparagus for Brussels sprouts every once in awhile.